First Published: 2022 July 31
Psalm 90:14 “Fill us at daybreak with your mercy, that all our days we may sing for joy.”
Today’s readings are certainly less cheerful than the past few Sundays have been. We begin in Ecclesiastes, where we are told that “All things are vanity”1 That statement stands in stark contrast to a lot of meditations that I use, at least. Rather than emphasizing the fact that everything which is good comes from He who is Goodness, and therefore can orient us to the eternal, the author of Ecclesiastes instead focuses on the fact that most of our daily interactions are not directly with the divine. As a result, they are inherently transitory and empty.
This cynicism is extended in the Gospel passage, where we are told to focus on growing rich in what matters to the Almighty. Interestingly to me, immediately after this passage in the Gospel, Jesus tells his followers not to worry about food or clothing. He uses the imagery of birds and flowers, who do not work yet are beautiful and fed.
This is also really clear in the second reading. The pieces of us which are earthly lead only to ruin and sorrow. If we exist focused on the secular, we will end up living lives of vanity. We are instead to take on Christ and focus our eyes towards heaven.
Ecc. 1:2↩︎
First Published: 2022 July 29
As I mentioned in my last monthly reflection, I wanted to be able to run a 5K this month. I claimed to have run a 5K at reunion, which is debatably true. I entered the race, and I was given a reward for finishing.
But, I didn’t run it continuously. Instead, I took lots of walking breaks. Today, in contrast, I ran a full three miles continuously.1
As I was cooling down from the run, I thought a lot about why running a 5K straight felt so strange. More or less, I think it comes down to the fact that2 I in many respects feel like I’m past my prime as an athlete. I know that I’ll never be able to dive as well as I did in college,3 I’ll likely never swim as fast as I did in high school,4 and I probably won’t ever get my maxes up to where they were last summer.5
So why does running 3 miles matter to me? As far as I can tell, I have never run that far in my life. All through high school, I ran at most a mile at a time.6 Throughout college, I had a very frequent goal of running a 5K, but I was never able to get there. There are all sorts of excuses that I can make as to why I never did, but they fundamentally boil down to the fact that I’ve always thought of myself exclusively as a sprint athlete. As any coach or modern self-help book can tell you, a fixed mindset where you believe you can’t do something will generally see you being correct.
I think about a poster which hung7 somewhere in high school. It read “Whether you believe you can or you can’t, you’re probably right.” I never saw myself as a person who could run 3 miles, and I was right. Now I know that I can.
Now that I’m done inflating my ego, it’s time to self-correct. Despite the fact that I wasn’t walking for any portion of it, my mile pace was less than 50 seconds faster per mile. I also apparently worked far harder, because my average heart rate was more than 30 points higher. I took an extra nine steps every minute, which is kind of funny. The part that’s wildest to me is that the peak of my heart rate during my first 5K was about the lowest that my heart rate was at during my run.
Anyways, the next goal is being ready for the “degree dash” that I signed up for, which apparently involves a 5.3989 mile run. It’s weird that despite being a bigger difference in how far I can run than I was at, it feels much more doable of a run. Anyways, enough rambling from me.
which I am aware is not a 5K, but it’s close enough that I’m counting it↩︎
regardless of the truthfulness of it↩︎
mostly because I don’t have pool access↩︎
which I acknowledge is an unfair comparison because I tapered and shaved for it↩︎
if only because I don’t love lifting↩︎
or I snuck walks in in the middle of longer runs↩︎
hanged? I can’t remember which is which. Let’s see: cool hanged is people, hung is literally anything else. Posters are not people (allegedly) so we’re good↩︎
the average number of years it takes to complete a PhD↩︎
hmm, one source says 5.39, one says 5.41. That’s a big difference↩︎
First Published: 2022 July 24
Genesis 18:27 “Abraham spoke up again: ‘See how I am presuming to speak to my Lord, though I am only dust and ashes!’”
As with my last reflection, part of this is stolen from the homily I listened to today. In today’s Gospel, our Lord teaches his disciples how to pray.
Now, I always took that as just “say the Our Father,” but the homily I listened to pointed out something very different. The prayer that Christ teaches his disciples has the elements that our prayer should include. It begins with the familiar1 relationship that we have with the Lord, beginning with “Our Father”. Our prayer should then turn towards blessing the Lord for His Goodness.2 We move then into thanking the Lord for what He’s done in our lives.3 From there, we move to intercessory prayer.4 Then, we finish with praying for others.
The part that struck me most is the difference between how we are called to speak to the Almighty and how Abraham does in the first reading. Throughout the reading, Abraham reiterates his fundamental unworthiness to speak to the Lord, something which5 is missing from the prayer Christ teaches. I also see this reflected somewhat in the difference between how Jewish prayers6 and Christian prayers are structured.
More or less every Jewish prayer I’ve been taught begins with the formula “Blessed are you Lord our G-d, King of the Universe”, while most of the Christian prayers I can think of emphasize the fatherhood of the Almighty.7 There are a lot of reasons for this difference, but the most fundamental to me is Baptism. Under the Mosaic Covenant, Israel becomes the Lord’s people. In Baptism, we become His children. I’m struggling to really articulate the difference, but I think it can be seen somewhat in the line I highlighted.
We are as dust and ash because of our sinful natures. But we are washed clean in the blood of the Lamb through the Sacraments, and so can address the Lord more familiarly. The concept of ritual also comes in here.
Under the Mosaic Covenant, communicating with the Lord happens in very ritualistic manners. There are prescribed sins and remediations for the sin. Blessings are ritualized and rote, which is something Modern Judaism keeps.8 In a quick scroll, there are formalized prayers for many of life’s beauties, such as seeing rainbows or smelling flowers.
In contrast, the New Covenant places the emphasis of the law on our hearts. Gone are individual sacrifices for individual sins. Gone too is the concept of the priestly caste as wholly separate. We are all called to be Priest, Prophet, and King in our Baptism.
I’m going to stop here before I ramble too much more.
First Published: 2022 July 23
How has it been almost two weeks since my last post? Intellectually it makes sense, but wow the passage of time is hard.
Anyways, I did finish the blanket which is exciting, and I’m again coming to the realization that when I stop exercising I also stop being productive. I haven’t been running or stretching really, which really puts a damper on my monthly goals. But, inspired by a friend making a book review blog, I think I might start reviewing books here.
Why, you1 might ask, would I do that? At worst, I have a record of books I read and how I felt at the time. At best, I have a way to fill up days that I have nothing to write about. It should also help hold me accountable for not reading books that I don’t want to review.2 Then again, I may not actually review everything I read.
Anyways, that’s all.
First Published: 2022 July 11
I was at a craft circle when I started a bag that I made last week. Apparently my1 ability to crochet got people’s attention, because one of the other members asked if I could help crochet one of their projects shut.
Another, later, messaged me to ask if I would be willing to finish a blanket that a dead friend of theirs started. I still don’t know how to respond to messages like that, but I went with “Yeah! I’d be happy to.” which may be too chipper in retrospect.
But, as it turns out, all the crocheting is done on the blanket. The person who asked knew that the pieces were all done and just needed to be assembled, but thought that also required crochet. Not so. It requires stitching, whip stitches to be exact.
Finishing a join that the friend2 had started was terrifying at the end, because the strip I joined was longer than the one I joined it too. When I finished my second join and found that it was even longer I will admit to a slight panic. But, I realized it’s not totally my fault.
Of the five remaining panels to join3, each is a different length, with up to 6 inches difference. Anyways, I’m having fun practicing my whip stitch and getting better at it!
First Published: 2022 July 10
Deuteronomy 30:10 “If only you would heed the voice of the LORD, your God, and keep his commandments and statutes that are written in this book of the law, when you return to the LORD, your God, with all your heart and all your soul,”
Being totally honest, the homily I listened to was absolutely stunning and I’m just going to steal from it. In the Gospel today, Jesus is confronted by a scholar who asks what the greatest commandment is and how he can follow it.
The priest pointed out that the scribe wants to have neighbor be as restrictive a category as possible. After all, if we have to love everyone like ourselves, where can we keep room in our hearts for hatred? But, Love is not satisfied with restrictions. Love is overwhelming and seeks to exceed.
In such a way, our neighbor is the whole of humanity. We are called to love the Lord with all of ourselves, heart, mind, body, strength and being. It may be incorrect, but I always saw the two parts of this commandment as a what and how. How do we love the Lord? We love the Lord in part by receiving sacraments and praying, obviously. But, we also love the Lord by loving our neighbor.
Anyways, that’s something I’ll have to think about and focus on for the next week. How do I avoid prioritizing my own self-interest above others?
First Published: 2022 July 9
I just reread my1 last reflection on DnD and it’s funny. Apparently the last I wrote about Dnd was also a one shot hosted by one of my friends.2 This was a much smaller group, only the three of us.
As before, we claimed we would end at 9, but really ended at 9:30ish. It was one of the group’s first time playing which is always really interesting. The way that people who aren’t super familair with the mechanics of the game approach it is far different from the way I3 do, often in really positive ways.
We three people met in the City of Arches, where we were hired by a Celf4 to find a chest of his and destroy it. Due to various shenanigans,5 we only got to a reasonable clue for where the chest was likely to be before we ran out of time.
I played a half-elf sorcerer with the gold-dragon sorcerous bloodline. It was funny because the other two PC’s were a high elf and a gold dragonborn, so in a way we were a fun little spectrum. I really enjoyed the session, and I think it’s more likely we continue this into a multi-shot, if only because there are fewer of us.
First Published: 2022 July 9
Pre reading note: I meant to write this last night but was too tired. Whoops.
I had the opportunity to go to Venite Adoremus, a holy hour of adoration for young adults in my diocese. It was a really great opportunity, and it reminded me that I really should go to adoration more often.
After the hour, there was a social event, which was also really nice. It’s great to meet people around my age.
First Published: 2022 July 6
Yesterday the newest book in a series I1 really enjoy was released. It’s book eleven in the series, and so I prepared in the way I tend to for new additions to a series: I reread the prior books. I found that I again completely misestimated the amount of time it would take me.
It feels like every time I reread a series to prepare for a release I panic at first. “Oh no,” I think, “I’ve started too late. I’m not going to make it to the new book in time.” Then, inevitably, I get to the last book and have to stretch it to the release of the new one.
This pattern was repeated, but it was really fun. I got to see plot threads that I’d missed on prior read-throughs that were picked up and woven in to the latest two books, and I just enjoy the series generally. I tore through the newest book, but I’m listening through it now because I really want to make sure I got all of the content.
most of my family, and some of my friends↩︎
First Published: 2022 July 5
I completely forgot about this yesterday,1 but the sky turned the violent yellow-green of a serious storm. It was extra shocking to me because I don’t remember any serious storm last night.
Today, on the other hand, was like walking through soup. It was miserably hot and humid all day, and there’s been a massive storm on the radar. As I was sitting, reflecting on my day, flashes of lightning and distant thunder have been slowly building.
I’m still not sure whether it’s going to hit here badly, but I hope it doesn’t.
Now that I’ve reflected on the direct storm experience, I’d like to talk more about how I feel about storms. In general, I really love the rain. Sure, it’s inconvenient to be caught out in it when I have a backpack or something I don’t want getting wet, but when I don’t, I absolutely love it. The feeling of rain pouring down on me never ceases to brighten what should be a gloomy day.
More than that, though, I love the thunder and lightning. The bright arcs across the sky which illuminate billowing clouds. Sounds so deep and booming that they connect you to the oldest parts of humanity. Plus, it’s super fun to do the whole “Light and sound move at different speeds so calculate how far away it is.”
The times when strike after strike comes in quick succession, so the thunderclaps overlap and you end up with a heavy roar in the air are beautiful.
Anyways, storms are pretty, and that’s all I’ve got today.
or maybe it hadn’t happened by posting time↩︎