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Monthly Reflection

First Published: 2022 April 11

Draft 1

I may be about ten days late for this, but better late than never.

As with my March reflection, I will start by reflecting on last month’s goals. My goals for the month of March were:

  1. Blog daily. I think this is still a helpful thing for me to do

  2. Write music or poetry daily. I would like to do this, even if it is hard

  3. Do the pushup/squat thing and stretch daily. I liked how I felt when I did this

  4. Listen to BiaY Daily. I like making progress on it.

  5. Reach 50000 words in my book. I’m currently at more than 20K, so this should be very doable.

I accomplished none of these.

I blogged for about half of March, before I gave it up. I don’t think I wrote poetry more than a few times in March. I stopped the pushups almost immediately. I did not listen to BiaY. I got to approximately 40000 words, which is fun, because it means that a sustainable pace is apparently 20K words a month, though I guess it’s always possible to draw a line with two data points.

My goals for April are:

  1. Blog daily (starting now). I think that the reflection it makes me do is really useful. I do think that I need to find a better way to ensure that I have time for it, though.

  2. Write a poem a day. I just bought a book of poetic forms, so it would be good to start working through them.1

  3. Stretch daily. I tried to stretch this morning and was shocked at how inflexible I am.

  4. Listen to BiaY daily. I really don’t like how far behind I am, and I’d like to catch up sooner than later.

  5. Reach 60K words in the book. If past months are indicative, that’s a goal I can accomplish. I think I may need to do some more planning, rather than writing by the seat of my pants, because I’m starting to get into a bit of a rut in terms of writing. Maybe it’s just that I have continued this section of the book for far too long.2

  6. A secondary goal for the book is to write every day, even if only a few words. I think it’s good to develop good habits, though I guess I should think about balancing doing something because I enjoy it with getting work done. That’s another thing to think about I suppose.

  7. Practice guitar every day. I like the sound of guitar, and I would love to be able to play longer without my fingers hurting.

I hope these are plausible goals, though only time can say for certain. I know that I am about to write the poem, so that’s at least four things off the list today.3 Hopefully I can make it through all six tasks each day, especially since most of them are so short.


  1. Look forward to postings about that.↩︎

  2. If I keep thinking about it here it’ll become worth its own blog post, and I refuse to do that.↩︎

  3. I listened to two BiaY this morning, and the aforementioned stretching↩︎

Reflections on Today’s Gospel

First Published: 2022 April 10

Philippians 2:9 “Because of this, God greatly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name.”

Draft 1

Today marks the final Sunday of Lent, and what is apparently in the top four most attended Masses in the year. Today we celebrate both the arrival of our Lord to Jerusalem, and also mourn his death. The congregation I was a part of had a part to speak in the Gospel.

We played the role of the disciples and the random members of the community. The lines that we speak were coursing through my mind today, though differently before and after the Mass. Before the Mass, I thought about how we shout “Crucify him”1, because our sins are what led Christ to be crucified. After the Mass, though I have been reflecting on how we also say that we have lacked for nothing from the Lord. That line stays with me more, because the idea that we are sinful and Christ died for our sins is not something that I’m currently struggling with in my faith.

The idea that, despite all of our faults, and despite what common sense would tell us, we can, in fact, rely solely on the goodness of the Lord to protect us and preserve us is something that I’m struggling with. Even those closest to him, who he had just eaten with, and who he founded his Church on betrayed and abandoned him, just as we do when we sin. Still, the Lord forgave Peter and the Lord forgives us.

Another image from the Gospel that struck me today was the image of Jesus praying in the garden. It’s the first of the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, which is the set of Mysteries I’ve found I can pray the most easily. The line that struck me today was “He was in such agony and he prayed so fervently that his sweat became like drops of blood falling on the ground.”2 What does it mean to have sweat like drops of blood?

Is it that the sorrow he felt was so piercing and distressing that the drops of sweat fell as painfully as a dripping wound?

Is it that the sweat itself was bloody and red?

Is it that the sorrow he felt now on our behalves was going to be mirrored soon in the blood of the Cross?

Ultimately I don’t know, but all of the three feel like plausible enough explanations to me.

As I write this musing, though, I am struck by the two verses immediately before. Our Lord prays that he might be spared the trial he is to undergo, and an angel appears to strengthen Him. I don’t know if I’ve ever remembered that verse before. Normally, I’ve seen the verse used solely to remind us that even in the midst of suffering, the human person of Jesus was fully subservient to the Divine Will. The inclusion of the second line, though, really speaks to me. Even the Lord, who had perfect knowledge of his eventual resurrection and ascension, found solace and comfort from an angel. How are we to live through the struggles in our own lives if we refuse to be comforted?

That’s certainly something I’m thinking on right now. An angel came to strengthen Him, because the Lord will always support us in doing His will. That doesn’t make the trial any easier, though.

Anyways, this is a long and rambling way for me to say that there are a lot of really deep and meaningful things that I think I could pull from this reading if I really gave it the time it deserves.


  1. Luke 23:21B↩︎

  2. Luke 22:44↩︎

Whoops

First Published: 2022 April 9

Draft 1

Yesterday I fully intended to write a monthly reflection post, for all that it would be a full week late. Instead, through a series of coincidences, I found that I was without my computer and away from home until far too late to write a post.

The story for those interested will be below.

We had a small birthday celebration for a group mate, which I left to go to a Fish Fry at a local church with friends. While at the fish fry, I got to see another one of my group mates, who asked if I could come back to their home to help jump a car. From there, I went to go catch up with a friend, which ended up resulting in me also catching up with a few other friends. By the time I finally got to bed, it was well past one, but I felt very well socialized.

Tomorrow I will be posting my reflection, so I guess I’ll reflect on the month on Monday.

Restarting (Again)

First Published: 2022 April 7

Draft 1

It’s been about 3 weeks since my last post, when I said I was going to take a break. I don’t regret the break, because I still believe what I wrote then, that “for whatever reason, writing this blog isn’t really making my heart sing like it used to.”1 I claimed that I’d keep up with weekly reflections and my readings of books, and I technically did the latter, though only because I haven’t been doing any of that reading.

As I look back on the past few weeks and months, I realize that I had been doing fewer and fewer creative hobbies. I wrote in January about how creating is important, and I don’t think I realized quite how true that was. I said in that posting that I felt that physical hobbies were better, and I am now moreso sure that’s true for me. Without something disconnected from my computer, I find that I grow ungrounded and disconnected from my time. Days flow by without any real differentiation, and I don’t like that.

Now, this isn’t to say that I don’t think my digitally creative hobbies are worth pursuing.2 I am planning to restart my book and this blog, but I also need to make sure that I am making music on my own, crocheting, and writing poetry. I know that I need a reason to keep writing, and for now I’m going to hope that the reason can be keeping a record of thoughts for my future self.


  1. from here↩︎

  2. as demonstrated by the writing of this post↩︎

Taking a Break

First Published: 2022 March 19

Draft 1

I’ve been a little lackluster in my postings lately. There’s probably a variety of reasons for that, but there’s one big one that I think is very relevant.

When I started writing the blog back in 2019, I really enjoyed being able to tell my friends and family what I was up to every day, and it helped me complete an assignment for class. When I restarted this January, I found that it was really nice to help me reflect on my day or something else, and it encouraged me to work better. Both of these share something vital, though, that I feel like is missing now. It was fun when I started.

For whatever reason, writing this blog isn’t really making my heart sing like it used to. This week hasn’t been great for me for a lot of reasons, so I’m really hoping that it’s just that, and not the blog itself. Still, my life is busy enough without adding obstacles that don’t bring me joy.

So, I’m planning to stop posting every day, at least for now. I’ll still try to keep up my weekly reflections on the Gospel, and I definitely plan to keep using this blog as a way for me to take notes on the books I read and media I consume, but I don’t know if I’ll make posts every day.

Anyways, thanks to all of you for reading thus far, and sorry if these were something you looked forward to. I hope to get to a point again where writing every day brings me joy again.

Scholastic Metaphysics Chapter 3

First Published: 2022 March 17

Draft 1

Has it been two weeks since my last post in the series? Yes.

Anyways.

First, my response to the questions pre-reading.

  1. What is the point of stopping to discuss the special characteristics of the concepts we use in metaphysics?

    It will lay a good foundation for us to actually learn things

  2. Most ordinary concepts we use are formed by abstracting a common essence and omitting particular details.

  3. Analogy of Attribution:

  4. Analogy of Proportionality:

  5. What is the basis in reality for all uses of analogy of proportionality?

    great question.

  6. Analogy of Proper Proportionality:

  7. Does an analogous concept contain two parts, one of which expresses just the similarity, the other just the diversity?

    That seems reasonable.

  8. Analogy Applied to Being: How does this work, since being seems to be such a simple concept and not expressing any common action, as other proper proportionality concepts do?

    Being is not a simple concept? I have no idea.

  9. Analogy Applied to God: How does it avoid falling into anthropomorphism (making God too much like humans) on the one hand, or mere metaphor on the other?

    Very carefully.

  10. Why is William of Ockham forced to hold that the concept of being applies univocally to both God and creatures, whereas St. Thomas is not?

    St. Thomas makes a distinction between G-d and creatures.

  11. How does St. Thomas ground the real similarity between God and creatures, making possible a proper analogy between them?

    If I had to guess, the Incarnation, but that’s a wild guess with no logic.

Time to see how accurate they are as I read the text, which as always, I will rely to as I read:

  1. What is the point of stopping to discuss the special characteristics of the concepts we use in metaphysics?

    Otherwise we might misuse them is the gist as I understood it.

  2. Most ordinary concepts we use are formed by abstracting a common essence and omitting particular details.

  3. Analogy of Attribution:

  4. Analogy of Proportionality:

  5. What is the basis in reality for all uses of analogy of proportionality?

    Action is the thing which bonds beings, and so since proportionality is based on shared action...

  6. Analogy of Proper Proportionality:

  7. Does an analogous concept contain two parts, one of which expresses just the similarity, the other just the diversity?

    No, that would be a univocal and equivocal concept paired together. Instead, it encompasses both at once, expressing the shared and not.

  8. Analogy Applied to Being: How does this work, since being seems to be such a simple concept and not expressing any common action, as other proper proportionality concepts do?

    The common action is existence.

  9. Analogy Applied to God: How does it avoid falling into anthropomorphism (making God too much like humans) on the one hand, or mere metaphor on the other?

    It says that since the common action is existence, rather than existence being separate from essence, since the Almighty exists, He has substance, and shares that with us. However, sharing existence is all that is claimed, avoiding anthropomorphism.

  10. Why is William of Ockham forced to hold that the concept of being applies univocally to both God and creatures, whereas St. Thomas is not?

    He focuses on being as essence, rather including existence.

  11. How does St. Thomas ground the real similarity between God and creatures, making possible a proper analogy between them?

    He says that they share existence.

Wow I should reread this chapter, it went a lot over my head.


  1. I’m sure of the all-inclusive, the other part less so↩︎

Pathfinder Character Backstory

First Published: 2022 March 16

Draft 3: Short story for Salvia 17 March 2022 edited for consistency with the campagin

Salvia finished dressing for the day and double checked that her band was still well-woven and on her wrist. Nothing had come loose since she last checked, but it would not do to be anything less than perfect today. It was the day of her thesis defense, when she could finally call herself a Wizard and graduate of Eriontha Academy.

She had walked out the door before realizing she forgot her Thesis project, the first staff carved in Gnomic. When she went back in to take the Staff, she realized that her familiar Burrus had already grabbed it for her. Of all the seminars she took, Familiar Magic was definitely the one that was the most fun. She’d always had a connection to burrowing creatures, so it was far easier for her to bond to a fox than most of her classmates. Some people called her crazy, but she knew that the beasts talked to her.

As she looked at the sun, she realized that she was running late. She started to run to the lecture hall, where she hoped that her presentation would go well.

“Thank you for coming today. I will be presenting my Thesis: ‘Advances in Bacula Magorum through integration with Gnomic Lineae Tradition’. Following my presentation, I will be accepting questions” It was a needlessly opaque title. Truly all she’d done was use the Gnomes’ written language of woven thread to enforce the language of Magic. While she loved her staff, she knew that the day-to-day spell weaving was a much more useful thing to the general community. Rather than carry around scrolls upon scrolls of Spells, which needed to be prepared daily, she had meta-knots. She knew how to stabilize the knots so that she could make a Spell Scroll, but the meta-stable versions were far easier. Of course, it did require the caster to know Gnomish, but that seemed reasonable to her.

Thankfully, she was able to field every question her committee threw at her. She’d chosen them carefully, since a lot of the faculty was very opposed to doing any sort of Arcane Magic in any language but Draconic. Now came the fun part: the party. Her entire community had pitched in to throw a party for her to celebrate her graduation.

The non-Gnomes started to leave quickly, and she started seeing Gnomes she’d never met before.

“Hello cousin,” she said, reaching out to shake hands with someone her age that she didn’t know. They read the lineages strung around the other’s wrist. She noticed that he was single, but shared a sixth generation ancestor with her.

“Hello, Cousin,” he replied. Truthfully, that was the most difficult part of translating between Gnomish and Draconic. Draconic had words for every relation you might have, sure, but no one used them. The inflection used on “cousin” in Gnomish could mean anything from first cousin to unrelated Gnome, and it was hard to teach that differentiation to non-Gnomes.

Really, that went back to the Weaving, though. The pride of every Gnomish household was the tapestry showing their ancestry. Each sibling older than their ancestor was recorded, going back to the founders of the community. Each community maintained a tapestry which went from the founders of the community back to the founders of the community they had come from.

It was said that Gnomes could once trace their ancestry back to the First Fourteen Gnomes, but the tapestry, along with their temple, had burned down a thousand years ago. Now Gnomes knew they were related, though often not how. Most families maintained the tradition of a bracelet which had the names of your parents, the opposite sexed parent’s parents, and so on back six generations. It did mean that her brother’s lineage would look far different than hers, if she had one, but that was just how Gnomish Culture worked.

Still, since Gnomes recognized that the Sorus Empire didn’t understand that naming convention, and since it was unwilling to have siblings not share last names, the Gnomes and the Empire came to an agreement. All Gnomes officially had the last name Gnomeson. Since there weren’t many of them, it didn’t make non-Gnomes’ lives much harder, since they tended not to reuse names. And, Gnomes didn’t need to speak to each other to understand what their real names were, since they literally wore them on their sleeves.

“So what are you going to do now that you’re an official Wizard?” her family asked. Her family had warned her about the Fading since she was a child, and right now she was expected to finally tell the community what her Quest would be.

Gnomish Quests were very different than the Empire’s idea of a quest. They were simply a way for the idealistic youth to go and explore. Her parents, Chithara and Chitharus, had both tried to walk the full border of the Empire, trading songs while they did. They met along the path, and the Quest was quickly abandoned in favor of them learning to make music with each other.

Salvia had chosen the standard Gnomish Quest, and was quite happy about it. “I’m going to learn unknown truths.” After all, Arcane Magic in Gnomish was a form of unknown truth. The more that Salvia had reflected on it, the more she realized that it was what her heart called her to do.

Draft 2: Short story for Salvia 17 March 2022

Salvia finished dressing for the day and double checked that her band was still well-woven and on her wrist. Nothing had come loose since she last checked, but it would not do to be anything less than perfect today. It was the day of her thesis defense, when she could finally call herself a Wizard and graduate of Eriontha Academy, the first Gnome to do so.

She had walked out the door before realizing she forgot her Thesis project, the first staff carved in Gnomic. When she went back in to take the Staff, she realized that her familiar Burrus had already grabbed it for her. Of all the seminars she took, Familiar Magic was definitely the one that was the most fun. She’d always had a connection to burrowing creatures, so it was far easier for her to bond to a fox than most of her classmates. Some people called her crazy, but she knew that the beasts talked to her.

As she looked at the sun, she realized that she was running late. She started to run to the lecture hall, where she hoped that her presentation would go well.

“Thank you for coming today. I will be presenting my Thesis: ‘Advances in Bacula Magorum through integration with Gnomic Lineae Tradition’. Following my presentation, I will be accepting questions” It was a needlessly opaque title. Truly all she’d done was use the Gnomes’ written language of woven thread to enforce the language of Magic. While she loved her staff, she knew that the day-to-day spell weaving was a much more useful thing to the general community. Rather than carry around scrolls upon scrolls of Spells, which needed to be prepared daily, she had meta-knots. She knew how to stabilize the knots so that she could make a Spell Scroll, but the meta-stable versions were far easier. Of course, it did require the caster to know Gnomish, but that seemed reasonable to her.

Thankfully, she was able to field every question her committee threw at her. She’d chosen them carefully, since a lot of the faculty was very opposed to doing any sort of Arcane Magic in any language but Draconic. Now came the fun part: the party. Her entire community had pitched in to throw a party for her to celebrate her graduation.

The non-Gnomes started to leave quickly, and she started seeing Gnomes she’d never met before.

“Hello cousin,” she said, reaching out to shake hands with someone her age that she didn’t know. They read the lineages strung around the other’s wrist. She noticed that he was single, but shared a sixth generation ancestor with her.

“Hello, Cousin,” he replied. Truthfully, that was the most difficult part of translating between Gnomish and Draconic. Draconic had words for every relation you might have, sure, but no one used them. The inflection used on “cousin” in Gnomish could mean anything from first cousin to unrelated Gnome, and it was hard to teach that differentiation to non-Gnomes.

Really, that went back to the Weaving, though. The pride of every Gnomish household was the tapestry showing their ancestry. Each sibling older than their ancestor was recorded, going back to the founders of the community. Each community maintained a tapestry which went from the founders of the community back to the founders of the community they had come from.

It was said that Gnomes could once trace their ancestry back to the First Fourteen Gnomes, but the tapestry, along with their temple, had burned down millennia ago. Now Gnomes knew they were related, though often not how. Most families maintained the tradition of a bracelet which had the names of your parents, the opposite sexed parent’s parents, and so on back six generations. It did mean that her brother’s lineage would look far different than hers, if she had one, but that was just how Gnomish Culture worked.

Still, since Gnomes recognized that the Sorus Empire didn’t understand that naming convention, and since it was unwilling to have siblings not share last names, the Gnomes and the Empire came to an agreement. All Gnomes officially had the last name Gnomeson. Since there weren’t many of them, it didn’t make non-Gnomes’ lives much harder, since they tended not to reuse names. And, Gnomes didn’t need to speak to each other to understand what their real names were, since they literally wore them on their sleeves.

“So what are you going to do now that you’re an official Wizard?” her family asked. Her family had warned her about the Fading since she was a child, and right now she was expected to finally tell the community what her Quest would be.

Gnomish Quests were very different than the Empire’s idea of a quest. They were simply a way for the idealistic youth to go and explore. Her parents, Chithara and Chitharus, had both tried to walk the full border of the Empire, trading songs while they did. They met along the path, and the Quest was quickly abandoned in favor of them learning to make music with each other.

Salvia had chosen the standard Gnomish Quest, and was quite happy about it. “I’m going to learn unknown truths.” After all, Arcane Magic in Gnomish was a form of unknown truth. The more that Salvia had reflected on it, the more she realized that it was what her heart called her to do.

Draft 1

I wrote a basic background history for my character, which is below.

Salvia Gnomeson is a gnome. Gnomes don’t believe in last names, so whenever you need one they just all go by Gnomeson because they’re children of gnomes. She grew up in an expatriated community in a poorer part of the capital. Spent most of her childhood translating the traditional woven stories of Gnomish into Common and Draconic and legal documents from Draconic into Gnomish.

She was always touched by the wild, but never was able to fully turn it into a true sorcerous or druidic talent. Instead, was always studious, so went to Wizard school.

While in school, refused to specialize, since her goal was moreso converting spells into woven expressions in Gnomish than actually learning magic. Managed to learn how to save a spell as something you can cast once (scrolls), and a temporary version which lasts a day or so (vancian preparations). Instead of remembering how to do that in particular, realized you can write directions for weaving the spells as a knot, though that takes some valuable threads to prevent fraying/because magic fiat. (costs 1 cp per level of spell). Since 10 cantrips and 6 spells, 91 cp of fine thread left.

While researching, had a thesis idea: permanently woven spells that can be activated at will. She was reminded of staves, so worked to make staff using Gnomish language rather than the traditional one. Currently doesn’t work great, but has a permanent cantrip and a semi-permanent lvl1 spell that can be refreshed.

Pathfinder Session 0

First Published: 2022 March 15

Draft 1

Tonight I got to do session 0 for a Pathfinder 2e campaign. I’m going to play a Gnomish Wizard, and more than that we’re still settling. I had my normal issue while building the character, which is that I saw the option to know a lot of languages and had to resist the build where I would have 13 languages at first level.1 Instead, I only know nine, which feels really sad. I did, however, take the ability to speak with any burrowing creature, which is kind of fun.

Honestly, building a character in Pathfinder 2e is a much different experience than in DnD 5e. There are way more options which is great, because I can build exactly what I want, but horrible because I don’t know what I want. I get I think an average of more than a feat per level, which is pretty cool because it means that every Wizard can look different2. I need to come up with a backstory for my Gnome3, which might be the topic of a future post.


  1. Gnome (3 languages) 20 intelligence (4 languages) multilingual from translator (2 languages), Gnome Polyglot (3, +1 for multilingual)↩︎

  2. even if they won’t.↩︎

  3. and a name I guess↩︎

Novel Update

First Published: 2022 March 14

Draft 1

It’s been almost a full month since my last update! I’ve had some struggles with writing it, and only wrote 8000 words since the beginning of the month. Since the 19th, when last I wrote this, I have managed to write nearly 20000. It’s a little sad that in those nine days I wrote more than I have these past two weeks. Still, though, I guess the writing pace isn’t too horrible. I may be writing slower, though not a ton slower. If I throw out last week, where I had no mental energy for anything, I think I’m actually still on pace.

If I want to reach my goal of 5000 words by the end of the month, I only need to write about 1000 words a day, which is pretty nice. I’ve been trying to write 2000 words a day, which means that I’d end up well ahead of my goal.

Unrelatedly, I feel very strange writing this post. These past few days have really been a struggle to post at all, and I’m not totally sure why.

Reflections on Today’s Gospel

First Published: 2022 March 13

Psalm 27:1A: “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom should I fear?”

Draft 1

Today’s Gospel is a little bit confusing for me. It’s the Transfiguration of our Lord, which has its own day in the calendar. Still, though, it’s a beautiful reading.

In the past, it confused me how Peter, John, and James recognized Elijah and Moses. After all, there were no photos of them, so how would they be recognizable. As I’ve gotten older, though, I think I have an answer for me, if not necessarily a theologically strong one.

The apostles knew the faces of Elijah and Moses because the Lord gave them the knowledge.