First Published: 18 January 2025
After writing yesterday’s musing, a friend asked what the daily needs of each phytonutrient are. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem like an easy to answer question, since the textbook I’ve been relying on lists vitamins, not phytonutrients. It has, however, been updated in part, though tragically only for total energy expenditure. Time to see what Big Food1 thinks that I need.
Ooh! Equations with the actual R2 and RMSE2. Apparently men tend to need 10.83 fewer calories a year after the age of 193, regardless of physical activity. I do find it really interesting how very different the four levels of activity look for the caloric needs. Height is least important for Active men, and almost twice as important for very active men as anyone else. Weight also increases caloric needs as activity rises, which is fun. Anyways, I should apparently be shooting4 for between 3200 and 4200, depending on how active I am. It’s interesting how much of a jump there is between active and very active, though. That’s all from this book, so now to go through the 2006 book.
Exercise5: 60 minutes daily briskly walking or jogging at 3-4 miles per hour. I don’t consider that a brisk walking pace, since it’s a 15 to 20 minute mile but.
OOH! They go into detail about how to figure out your activity level, which is only designed for normal BMI6:
For PAL defined as the caloric intake divided by basal energy expenditure9 They go through a list of activities with the amount it is expected to change PAL per hour performed10. Billiards is apparently worth between 0.05 and 0.1 PAL per hour, meaning that 4 hours of billiards is almost enough to bring someone out of a sedentary life if that’s their only movement.
Walking at the pace they mention above is worth between .13 and .22 PAL per hour11
Carbs: have done before: 130 g/day for everyone over the age of 1 who is not pregnant. Needed to prevent ketosis and keep brain happy.
Fiber: Intake is based on caloric intake, which is kind of fun. If under one, no data exists.12 Otherwise, 14 grams per 1000 calories consumed is the expected need, though it’s not well proven. Dietary fiber is plant matter we can’t digest, and Functional fiber is additives.
Because we can’t measure things that aren’t absorbed, difficult to get good data. Ooh they break down the different forms of fiber by their effect. I’ll list the ones I find most interesting:
Guar gum can reduce blood cholesterol by 11-16 percent, along with significant reduction in glycemic response13
Oat products are more easily fermented.
The value comes from optimal intake to prevent heart disease. 42 to 56 grams a day isn’t that hard to hit at all
Fat, as before, pretty easy to hit
Cholesterol: your body can make it, so don’t need to eat it. Eating any makes you more likely to have chronic heart disease, and is found in animal products.
Protein as before, and is still broken down into the various amino acids.
Water: 3.7 L total consumption is apparently the average for men 19 to 70. That’s not super helpful for me, and I think I should shoot higher.
Woo Vitamins!
Vitamin A: 900 micrograms, and under 3000 micrograms. It’s measured in retinol activity, and one gram retinol is worth 12 grams of beta carotene or 24 grams of alpha carotene or beta cryptothanxin. Retinol is found in animal products, so the precursors are mostly needed for vegetarians. Recommended amount based on liver stores.
B6: 1.3 mg, under 100.14 Upper range causes neuropathy. Minimum is set by some fancy biology word. It’s about 75 percent bioavailable from a mixed diet, and comes from starchy vegetables, organ meat, non citrus fruit, and fortified cereal.
B12: 2.4 mg.
Biotin 30 ug, apparently we don’t know how the body processes it when bound to protein. Needed for carboxylation
Vitamin C: 90 to 2000 mg15. Only issue with too much is diarrhea, and smokers need more.
Carotenoids: Natural pigments, like beta carotene. Wildly, raw carrot absorption of beta carotene can be as bad as 5 percent, fruits are better, and supplements can go up to 70 percent. Steaming improves bioavailability, but prolonged cooking can make it worse. Needs to be consumed with fat for optimal intake.
Choline: 550 to 3500 mg. Mostly comes from membranes in foods: milk, liver, egg, peanut. Lethicin is apparently a supplement added for it.
D: 5 to 50 ug. Too much apparently causes too much calcium in blood
E: 15 to 1000 mg. Prevents free radicals, occurs in 8 forms, but plasma only maintains one. Upper limit because of hemorrhages. Vegetable oils have it, no one in America tends to be deficient unless body can’t intake. Apparently no specific metabolic roles.
Folate: 400 to 1000 ug. Comes from dark green vegetables, beans, legumes. Metabolizes16 nucleic and amino acids. UL defined because it can mask a B12 deficiency.
K: 120 ug. Blood coagulation and bone metabolism. Green vegetables17 and vegetable oils are the normal sources.
Niacin: 16 to 35 mg. Too high, flushing. Comes from meat or fortification. Insufficient B6, riboflavin, or iron may increase needs. If insufficient, causes pellagra.
Pantothenic Acid: 5 mg. Unknown how we get it, looks like less processed food better.18
Riboflavin: 1.3 mg. B219. Found in milk, bread, and20 fortified foods. Needed for redox reactions. Apparently no adverse upper level effects have been found. General malaise symptoms21 are deficiency signs.
Thiamin: 1.2 mg. B1! Metabolizes carbs and branched amino acids. We get it from fortified foods and ham. Anorexia and weight loss are symptoms of not enough. Also causes beriberi.
Elements: It goes through: Calcium22, the bone maker, Chromium23, which lets insulin work, Copper24, for molecular oxygen reduction, Fluoride25 for teeth and bone, Iodine26 for the thyroid27, Magnesium28 shows up all over the place in enzymatic things, Iron29 for hemoglobin, Manganese30,31 helps with bone making, Molybdenum32 as a cofactor,33, Phosphorus34,35 in Phosphate, for bone construction, Potassium36 for proper signaling, effects dependent on its anion, and it helps prevent NaCl from hurting us, Selenium37 prevents oxidative stress and helps redox C, too much causes brittle hair and nails, NaCl38 to keep our body like the sea, Sulfate39 comes from amino acid, Zinc40 which makes us grow, and (Arsenic, Boron, Nickel, Silicon, Vanadium)41, made a note that these elements might be needed for something, but not usually.
I do also have a new favorite quote from the day: “data were insufficient to set a UL42 for arsenic. Although a UL was not determined for arsenic, there is no justification fro adding it to food or supplements” Interestingly: organic arsenic is usually fine. Inorganic arsenic (arsenite III or arsenate V), by contrast, “is an established human poison”.
So, what have we learned?
Dietary science is a lot of “people who eat like this tend to do better”, and I remember seeing a thing about how the way food is presented affects absorption of nutrients. It makes me feel better that I cannot fall into the trap of living my life by evidence based practice to the detriment of my day to day living, because there truly is not a lot of evidence.43 Well, this has been a fun journey. Tune in next time to see my recipe for bread44
A friend, upon reading yesterday’s musing, asked a very poignant question: how much of each phytonutrient do I actually need? Using our favorite textbook, we find that the actual chemicals are not listed, instead the vitamins are.
lycopene is apparently not essential.
beta cryptothanxin converts to Vitamin A at a 24 to 1 efficiency, so in order to get the 900 micrograms a day I need, I need to consume 21.6 milligrams. Interestingly, ://tools.myfooddata.com/nutrient-ranking-tool/beta-carotene/all/highest/household/common/nomyfooddata tells me that carrots contain no beta cryptothanxin. One carrot does, however, contain about 6 milligrams of beta carotene, which is equivalent to half a mig45 of Retinol46, so two carrots a day47 is large enough, even if I have no other sources.
sulforaphane, isothiocyanates, and indoles
anthocyanins
alicin
Instead of trusting the website that told me I need pretty colors, I’m actually just going to take this time and see what nutrients the government thinks that I need daily.48
Vitamin A: 900 micrograms49
Vitamin C: 90 milligrams
Vitamin D: insufficient research, recommendation is 5 micrograms
Vitamin E: 15 milligrams
Vitamin K: insufficient research, recommendation 120 micrograms
Thiamin: 1.2 mg
Riboflavin: 1.3 mg
Niacin: 16 mg
Vitamin B6: 1.3 mg50
Folate: 400 micrograms
Vitamin B12: 2.4 micrograms
Pantothenic Acid: insufficient research, recommend 5 mg
Biotin: Insufficient research, recommend 30 micrograms
Choline: IR51, 550 mg
Calcium IR: 1000 mg52
Chromium53: IR, 35 micrograms
Copper: 900 ug54
Fluoride: IR, 4 mg
Iodine: 150 ug
Magnesium: 410 mg
Manganese: IR 2.3 mg
Molybdenum: 45 ug
Phosphorus: 700 mg
Selenium: 55 ug
Zinc: 11 mg
Potassium: IR 4.7 g55
Sodium: IR 1.5 g
Chloride:56 IR 2.3 g
Water: IR57, interestingly is not weight based. If I consume more than 0.7 to 1 liter per hour of it, I might get toxicity.
Welp, time to go back and see what the USDA cares enough about to write a chapter on.
one of the rare times I use this phrase where it’s accurate↩
about 340 cals↩
and women require 7 fewer↩
I’ll look at all four values, knowing that the very active will likely never be relevant again, even if the top three might be↩
which feels weird to put in dietary reference but↩
which does explain why they updated it↩
so curious what sub 1 is↩
what about above that!↩
I think that’s the assume you don’t move at all↩
which I love as a concept, thinking about the fact that your basal needs are the entire basis for the increased costs↩
this is a dangerous concept for me to be aware of, if only because I can start actually counting my movement in a variety of ways↩
which makes sense, because I don’t tend to think of milk as fibrous↩
which I assume is good↩
wow that’s a range↩
I have absolutely taken more than that↩
originally had an s (a s?) instead of z↩
tragically, mostly brassicas↩
the latter half of the sentence is commentary↩
so many b vitamins↩
as is becoming a trend,↩
commentary↩
1000 to 2500 mg↩
35 ug, estimated bc IR↩
900 to 10000 ug↩
IR, 4-10 mg↩
150 to 1100 ug↩
I knew this one! Comes from the soil which is why the Great Lakes are not healthy↩
410 mg, UL of 350, which is apparently only from pharmacological agents. Kind of funny still↩
8 to 45 mg, one of the rare cases where women have a higher one, and a significant one at that (18 mg)↩
I will always be mad that this and Magnesium are both elements↩
IR 2.3 to 11 mg↩
45 to 2000 ug↩
upper limits cause reproductive issues in mice, not people, it comes from the soil↩
mmmm matches↩
700 to 4000 mg↩
IR, 4.7 g↩
I never would have thought that I needed this, 55 to 400 ug↩
IR, 1.5 to 2.3 g Na, 2.3 to 3.6 g Cl↩
I do have to wonder why Phosphate wasn’t listed but↩
11 to 40 mg↩
all UL and mg/day, B: 20, Ni: 1, V: 1.8↩
upper limit↩
in the sense that like if I do the generally normally accepted advice of “eat less processed food, lots of plant, and move around more”, I’ll probably be fine↩
and a review!↩
since I say mig I type mig, instead of mg↩
read: Vitamin A↩
assuming a seven to eight inch carrot↩
these numbers are for males aged 19-30, but don’t really change a lot if you change that↩
no weight↩
the first one I’ve noticed increases as I grow older after 30. I wonder why↩
typing insufficient research is hard, so I’m just abbreviating here on out↩
how that differs from a gram, unsure↩
Wild, I had no idea I was actually supposed to have any↩
I hate typing microgram, and mu is not a latin letter, so I use its closest analog↩
wow such a big number↩
I wonder if there’s really any dietary source for chlorine outside of salt↩
OH NO! I’ve learned that this is just normal data. I’ll have to look at each chapter for the weight based things↩
First Published: 17 January 2025
I just finished meeting with a nutritionist. In general, the advice was good, practical, and not particularly enlightening.1 That being said, I was advised to generally eat more often, which is absolutely a good idea. I’d like to plan to start eating lunch and dinner daily, along with two snacks of peanuts and maybe a fruit. The macro breakdown in draft one shows me that’s probably doable, and so now it’s time to make sure I get my recommended plants.
Red: lycopene containing. Examples they give2 are strawberries, cranberries, raspberries, tomatoes, cherries, apples3, and red peppers.
Orange and yellow: beta cryptothanxin4, which becomes Vitamin A. Yellow peppers, carrots, oranges, bananas, mango, pineapple, corn
Green: sulforaphane, isothiocyanates, and indoles5. Spinach, asparagus, alfalfa sprouts, collard greens, green tea.
Blue and purple: anthocyanins6. Blueberries, blackberries, concord grapes7, raisins, plum, fig, prune, lavender. This one might be a little harder, since the berries are generally available only in small quantities, and I don’t love any of the other options. I might need to start doing dry plums, though then I should look and see how many a day I might need.
White and brown: allicin8. Onion, garlic, leeks, parsnips, mushroom
Of course, frozen fruit is an equally viable option. The site claims I should shoot for about 4.5 cups a day of fruits and veggies9 The book I was using for macros does not provide specific guidance, so that seems like a reasonable enough goal. Writing my shopping list for next week, then:10
Rotisserie Chicken. Good source of protein, and I can just take chunks to work for my lunch.
Frozen meatballs11
Hard cheese for lunches12 Upon reflection, a soft or spreadable cheese could also be nice, because I will have bread with lunch
Frozen cherries or strawberries or fresh cherry13 tomato
Carrots
Spinach14
Dry plums?
Mushroom
Peanuts
Whole Wheat Flour
Vital Wheat gluten
Seeds for bread
Apples
My lunch each day will shoot for 30 grams of protein, and I’m hoping for it to include:
Chicken, about 100 grams15
Some hard cheese, probably 50 grams16
Some form of mushroom, ideally at least? Maybe make a little pate?
Spinach, one handful
One apple
Mug green tea
Carrot
The snack container, having just been measured, is about 3.5 oz, so my snack(s) will be:
3.5 oz peanut20
Piece of fruit? I think that I still may need to get in a red, in which case maybe strawberries.
Here we go!
Daily Notes:
Practiced guitar? Not yet today, generally decently though.
Twice daily stretching? It was going well until Tuesday
Poetry? Kind of completely stopped.
Blog? Lost track of time last Friday, stayed out too late, lost Saturday to that21, lost Sunday to that, and here we are.
Net cleaner home? I think so! I’m optimistic about going forward.
I only drew once, on Sunday, but I did manage to write and send out a letter22.
I just finished meeting with a nutritionist!24 In general, there was nothing particularly life altering about the advice she gave. I feel mixed about that, as I tend to when no easy solutions present themselves.
On the one hand, it’s nice to know that I wasn’t just failing to do the proper research or draw the correct conclusions. On the other, it’s kind of frustrating to go into a situation with a problem and leave the situation with the same problem.
That being said, though, there were three pieces of advice that she gave which I think may become helpful for me in the coming weeks.25
Make sure to be eating every 4 hours.26 I keep seeing different times for how often one should be eating, and while I know I’ve seen some data suggesting other timelines, 4 hours is a reasonable enough goal to keep.27
Break the protein up throughout the day, and in particular, make sure to eat snacks.28
Set timers to stop working and, even if I don’t eat anything, check in with myself to see if I do want to eat anything.
Other pieces of advice that I found useful, though less so:
Make sure to count the protein in everything I eat. I tend to do this, but I do sometimes think I might forget to when I’m ball parking the total consumption.
Don’t be afraid of premade meals. In particular, rotisserie chickens and frozen meatballs are my friend.
More fruits and veggies is never a bad thing.
Let’s see what peanuts29 are like in terms of their protein efficiency. Looks like it’s around 17030 calories per ounce, and about 7 grams of protein in that same space. Converting to grams, that means I’d need about 364 grams of peanuts a day, or about 13 oz.31 That’s really not bad!
So, assuming that I eat two meals32, if I’m awake for 16 hours a day, I should be eating at least two snacks. I’m going to start shooting for 3-5 ounces33 of peanuts at each of these snacks. That means I’ll be getting between 21 and 35 grams per snack, for a total of 42 to 70 grams per day. Oh, yeah ok if I can eat 10 ounces of peanuts a day, I should have no trouble finding the other 20 grams from somewhere. Looking at the price per gram of protein, it’s about 2 cents an ounce.34
Since I will generally be in my office from 8:30 to 535, I can do two snacks and a lunch36, which is great. Assuming that I can manage 25 grams of protein in the lunch37, I only need that much again for dinner! That’s so much easier, and if I make my lunch:
Wildly, apples are not red fruits in the sense of containing lycopene.
not in a bad way, just in a “oh good I’m not horribly off base with my estimations”↩
that I enjoy enough to consider having as part of a daily lunch or snack↩
though other sources disagree with that↩
which is not beta carotene, containing a hydroxyl group on one end.↩
cancer stoppers I guess.↩
make me life forever↩
I wonder why those in particular↩
onions, mmmm, keeps me from tumors↩
nine servings, I imagine, though Harvard seems to disagree Green, vitamin C, and beta carotene seem to be the important things for that. Ah, one cup of each is considered a serving, other than fruit juice and dried fruit, which are both halved.↩
this is more a journal entry than blog post, but↩
maybe↩
because I’m going for a snack board kind of vibe↩
I forget the specific term↩
I do also own green tea, which I should remember to consume during lunch↩
about 20 grams of protein↩
10 grams protein↩
probably prune↩
stuffed? I never know what it means when people say a loaf is studded↩
dietary info to come, might mean I need less of the chicken or cheese?↩
about 24.5g, 600 calories (wow that’s a lot of calories↩
and staying out too late↩
also on Sunday↩
did absolutely write 2024 at first, did have to correct myself↩
there are a number of unseen benefits to continuing education. This was absolutely one of them↩
no, “don’t worry too much” was not one of them↩
When awake, though I didn’t ask about what happens when I wake up in the middle of the night↩
I should also be eating breakfast, but that’s its own issue↩
nuts and seeds were examples of high protein snacks↩
the cheapest nut, by far↩
plus minus ten↩
I did not convert back, but I did redo the math without the conversion because I still consume my food in ounces, in general. Or, at least, I feel like I can estimate an ounce better than 30 grams, even though they’re the same amount↩
because shooting for two a day is a good starting goal↩
which is .75 to 1.25 cups, which might be FAR too much, but who knows↩
which I only now realize I calculated in the second posting↩
I feel like these hours are generally decent, and somewhat reflective of reality↩
starting next week, since I’ll be able to do my pseudo meal prep↩
I’m thinking part of rotissiere chicken, fruit, and probably bread (it took me far too long to remember that bread exists), which is a fun thing that is full of tactile sensation and also requires effectively no prep. Since I do also want to hit the other two kinds of vegetable (I don’t care about starchy, and peanuts are legumes)↩
First Published: 17 January 2025 (because I forgot to hit post)
Yesterday I went through some of the different ways that I could get sufficient protein.1 Since I’m2 not going to just consume all of my protein from a single source, I do technically have an NP problem, which is a variant of the knapsack problem. However, I’m looking for solutions that do not fit neatly into the normal computational framework, if only because more or less everything I could consume is functionally continuous, and the knapsack problem is meant for discrete entries.
Chicken, fish, and cheese are all similar in that I need to be eating about a pound a day of them in order to get my nutritional needs met. That’s a fair amount of volume, if nothing else. I can’t really imagine sitting down and eating a pound of any of them in a single sitting3
However, one piece of advice a friend gave me was to speak to a dietician at my school, which is apparently free. Rather than continue to worry about all of this, I’m going to try to do that instead.
Daily:
Practiced guitar? Not yet today
Twice daily stretching? The five minutes at night seems so much harder than the one in the morning. Making an actual list of what I do for how long is almost certainly my best option going forward.
Poetry? I’ve generally been doing two or so stanzas, and usually working on a different ideal each time. Yesterday I was trying for an ABBA rhyme scheme.
Blog? Look at this right here!
Net cleaner home?
First Published: 9 January 2025
My last draft really went off the rails, because I got too far into the biohacking mindset. At the base minimum, I should be consuming:
90 grams of protein
130 grams of carbohydrates
17 grams of linoleic acid
1.6 grams of alpha-linoleic acid
Below, we see that,1 at the absolute minimum, I can meet this in a smoothie that does this relatively easily. Since the fat and carbohydrates are incredibly simple to achieve, it’s worth considering what 90 grams of protein otherwise looks like. Common ways I get protein are:
Rice
Pasta
Fish
Chicken
Gelatin
Beans
Eggs
Milk
Cheese
Yogurt
To get 90 grams of protein from each of these sources, I would need to consume2:
Rice3 needs about 3.8 kilograms4, and has around 52 calories per gram of protein.
Chicken8 needs about 480 grams, and is about 7.7 calories per gram
Gelatin, as mentioned below needs about 150 grams, and is about 5 calories per gram
Beans need about 1.25 kilograms, 15.8 cal/g
Eggs9 are apparently 50 grams per large egg, so the 710 grams I need is about 14 eggs,
Milk: 2.7 kilograms of milk, about 27 cal/g
Cheese: 404 grams, 13.5 cal/g
Yogurt: 2.6 kilograms, about 22.3 cal/g
In the future, I’ll hopefully figure out a way to take these numbers and construct a meal plan out of them.
Daily:
Practiced guitar? Yes
Practiced accordion? Given up for now because only so many tasks to be added at once
Twice daily stretching? yes
Journal? as with accordion, given up for now
Poetry? yes
Blog? look!
Net cleaner home? technically
First, it appears that I was wrong in yesterday’s musing. The oil requirements are just straight up grams per day, which makes my life significantly easier. In order to hit my nutrition goals, I should be consuming at a minimum:
90 grams of protein
130 grams of carbohydrates
17 grams of linoleic acid10
1.6 grams of alpha-linoleic acid11
I generally see 1500 calories as the starvation threshold.
That is very little, and in total seems to add up12 to around 2300 calories. If I choose better oils for alpha linoleic acid13, that number drops to 1222 calories per day. If I price out my costs,14 to hit the minimum I need for nutrition:
about 144 grams, or 5 ounces of gelatin, which comes out to 6.56 dollars
1 tablespoon of corn oil is about 14 grams, and costs about 4.5 cents, which means daily need would be around 10 cents
Flaxseed oil is approximately as dense, one tablespoon costs 44 cents, and so the daily need is about 14 cents
Sugar costs 80 cents per pound, and I need about a third of a pound per day, so that’s about 30 cents per day.
Total cost for the base need smoothie comes out to around 7 dollars and 10 cents.
If we swap the gelatin out for egg whites, we get a little bit of carbs, but, assuming the cost is only in protein15, we can start pricing out the price per gram of protein for different foods:
Gelatin: 7.5 cents
Egg White: 4.7 cents
Whey Protein: 6.5 cents16
Chicken breast comes out to around 4 cents per ounce
Flour technically has protein, though incomplete, and so is being discarded17
Generally seems like peanuts are complete, and come in at 1.9 cents, or 2.3 if I don’t want to bother shelling them myself.
Beans also appear to contain all amino acids, and come in at 1 cent per gram as pinto beans
Rice can come down to 1.6 cents per gram
Lentils are around 1.4 cents
Gelatin and egg whites are both about 1.6 grams per gram of protein, whey protein is about 1.1, and pinto beans are about 5, so it does require significantly more bean consumption. It also takes me well over the minimum carb load for the day, which also saves me 30 cents in sugar. It would, however, require consuming a full pound of beans18 each day. Egg whites probably strike a good balance of volume and cost.
Now that we have gone through this, we also need to remember the whole “there is a limit of calories I can, or at least should, consume in a day.” At the 3500 calorie mark, that means everything needs to be under 40 calories per gram of protein in order to be a valid source of all protein I consume.
Also, if I do the insane thing of bulk buying gelatin, I can get it for as cheap as 40 percent the cost, bringing it down to 3 cents per gram, which is honestly kind of tempting. It does, however, require purchasing 50 pounds of gelatin, which would serve me for around half a year. It would take us down to under three dollars a day.
According to the USDA, as long as I’m spending under 10 dollars and nine cents a day, I’m doing well.
This has absolutely degraded from the initial goal of figuring out how to feed myself well, for all that it would, without a doubt, be a very easy and effective way to get myself all of the nutrients I need in a day. I do wonder if I would be able to eat enough fruit and vegetable in a day to feel satiated.
ooh an unconsidered benefit of drafts↩
going off of USDA’s food search↩
I assume the usual 2:1 water:rice ratio many use, and that the entirety of the water is into the rice, so I divide the USDA’s protein by 3↩
assuming white long grain, which is my usual↩
assuming the same water absorption↩
assuming cooking doesn’t change the size much↩
which, I do note, means that it’s almost all protein, since each gram of protein is 4↩
same assumption as fish, which will go forward as needed, and assume that the grains expand the same tripling↩
which weirdly gain a gram of protein when fried↩
which according to Wikipedia at time of looking, is about half of corn oil, so 34 grams of that↩
which wikipedia claims means about 160 grams of corn oil, or 4 grams of flaxseed or linseed oil↩
assuming corn oil is my only oil choice↩
better here meaning optimal↩
assuming gelatin, sugar, corn oil and linseed oil all priced from my local grocery store that lists prices online↩
true to a first order↩
I’m remembering something about bioavailability, but that’s probably not too relevant, skimming an abstract, I see that all animal sources basically fine. Soy also approx 100, as is potato, interestingly. Oh wait, this is percent of amino acid intake, which have requirements in the mg/kg/day, which is so much less as to seem irrelevant to me; I’ll just trust protein labels.↩
this article claims it misses lysine, threonine, and methionine.↩
raw, then cooked↩
First Published: 8 January 2025
As I’ve mentioned in a fair number of musings, I want to be better at fueling my body. That means that I’m going to aim for a few goals:
Macronutrients all at acceptable levels
Unprocessed or less processed foods where possible
More fruits and vegetables, generally aiming for dark green, red, orange, legumes, starches to be each represented.
Easy, in mental, physical, and temporal meanings.
both lets me get some estimates and gives me the actual links to the book where the USDA lays out their explicit recommendations. Unfortunately, those PDFs do not give citations, but I will trust that the data are at least generally good. With that in mind, the goals I should be hitting:
At least a gallon of total water per day. I generally feel like I should be drinking around that much, if I go by the whole “drink when you’re thirsty” mantra.
If I trust the AMDR, which is at the very least a decent starting place, I should be getting between 45 and 65 percent of calories from carbs, 25 to 35 percent fat, and 10 to 30 protein. I can hit the thresholds of at least one of them without breaking the system, which is good.
I should be getting around 0.8 grams of protein per kilogram of body mass per day, bringing us to around 90 grams of protein.
In that, I apparently absolutely have to have: histidine, isoleucine, leucine, lysine, methionine, phenylalinine, threonine, tryptophan, and valine. I should make sure that I have the prerequisites, or take in: arginine, cysteine, glutamine, glycine, proline, and tyrosine. daily, that means:2
19 histidine
30 Isoleucine
62 leucine
52 lysine
26 methionine and cysteine (combined, I assume)
51 phenylalanine and tyrosine (combined, I assume)
30 threonine
9 tryptophan
35 valine
Now, because I am not completely insane, I probably won’t be very much harping on all of these points, but it’s at least generally good to keep in mind. Protein makes body run, and generally there don’t seem to be side effects from too much protein or of any amino acid, so floors are almost certainly sufficient in themselves.
Fat, unfortunately, lacks RDA, and instead only has Adequate Intake (AI). It’s broken down into Linoleic and alpha Linoleic acids, which need 17 and 1.6 g/kg/day, respectively. Apparently outside of that, there’s not evidence to suggest any other recommendations for fat, though I assume that percents are generally at least somewhat supported as normally decent for each piece. LDL is linked to increased saturated3 fat content, and LDL is generally not great. Linoleic acid is an essential fatty acid, and it produces the n-6 fatty acids. It is not immediately clear to me what it does. Alpha is also essential, produces n-3, and is needed to balance n3 and n6 acids, as well as helping structural nerves especially in the nerves and retina. AIs were set from the median in the US, because there’s no common deficit. In general, no American or Canadian is lacking in either of those fats, which is a nice, if unsurprising result.
So, in general, fat can make up the rest of my diet, I should aim for less saturated fats, and also make sure I consume the proper fatty acids. My body can make all of them except for linoleic and alpha linoleic acids. They’re important for growth, but I am no longer a child, and so no longer really grow.
Higher fat diets (relative to carbs) tend to be better the more sedentary the population is. Given how sedentary I am, probably good to err on the side of more fat. Athletes may need higher carb diets, especially in the short term,
Added sugar bad.
Ok, so that’s interesting and good enough. It’s always nice to confirm that there’s a large range of completely acceptable values for every macronutrient. The micros I will assume I can hit if I get a diverse diet in, at least for now. Now comes the much harder part: generating an actual diet.
I think that having the list of colors is a thing I need to do when plotting literally any meal, and especially while shopping. I think that it’s also probably best to have as much of what I’m cooking as things that I can generally do in batches that requires minimal in person effort. The absolute ideal, is of course, something like the classic crock pot meal, which is a turn on whenever and come back to whenever, with no real time considerations other than a floor.
I know myself well enough to know that I do, legitimately, enjoy cooking when I can, and that I hate following recipes. Those two conditions make a lot of meal planning hard, as does my tendency to forget things when they’re out of sight and to fall into chaos at the slightest provocation. However!
Hope is not lost. I do know myself well enough to know that when I have a list, even if it’s vague, I can often follow along with them, especially when I have a reason to do so.4
I think that this may be more than a single blog post is able to have, but I will definetly try to start making vague measurements in my recipes, so that I can both recreate them and see what the health information in them is. Additionally, that can let me start experimenting with different changes to each recipe. For instance, yesterday I baked a loaf of sandwich bread where I substituted yogurt for milk and added some almond flour.
As I’ve mentioned a fair amount in the recent musings, I want to be better about feeding myself. There are any number of reasons for this, but if I’m being honest, it’s mostly due to the loss of my mother.5 With that in mind, there are some general guidelines that I’m going to try to keep in mind going forward.6
Get sufficient macros in. I know that I, personally, don’t feel great when I don’t get enough protein in.7
Focus on more whole grain and less processed food generally
I often see fiber as a point that needs to be addressed. I’m not sure how true that is in my case, especially given the above item, but I’ll at least ball park it to make sure I’m there.
The CDC that I need more potassium, likely. That’s interesting, at least.
Saturated fats are allegedly bad, though I keep wanting to look up why that is.8 Looking at the Harvard link from the footnote, seems mostly like polyunsaturated fats, like corn and sunflower oil, are essential for bodily function. Other than that, more liquid at room temperature probably better, but not something to hugely stress about.
Increase the variety and quantity of fruits and vegetables in my diet. I know that I probably don’t get enough pretty colors, especially because I tend to go through phases of a single plant.A Harvard page claims that the groups I need to hit are: dark green, red, and orange legumes, and starchy.
Don’t be super fussy in the day to day. The goal is that this is a background process, both because I want to not spend time and energy on this, and also because literature generally says good enough is, in fact, good enough.
Make it something that I can do easily. That can mean different things to me at different periods of my life, but I think that it’s just a good thing to keep in mind in general.
Alrighty, that’s a pretty doable set of items. With that in mind, let’s start being explicit with some numbers9. Thankfully, Uncle Sam has us covered with that. These days, I do unfortunately think that I am Inactive to Low Active based on their terms, though that is something I’d like to change:10
16 cups of water, including everything in the foods I consume. That’s one gallon, and does change when I play with numbers, so that’s fun.
About 3500 calories a day. Oof that’s going to be fun and difficult. Of course, if I’m going for a slight deficit11, that’s ok too.
90 grams of protein. Some quick googling suggests approx. 4 calories per gram, so 360 cals from protein12
Somewhere from 75 to 135 grams of fat per day. 9 Cal/g, so 675 to 1215.13
Carbs are essential for brain function, or so claims the USDA. The recommended amount is listed by the amount expected to be needed for brain function, and explicitly prevents ketosis. Because all brains are basically the same size, carbohydrate recommendations plateau at the age of 1, and remain at around 130 grams after that. However, if we look at the numbers, that doesn’t work out
I’m realizing that I’m losing the thread, so let’s restart.
though, I could easily believe that my brain is in the top 2 to 3 percent of calorie usage, in which case would need to be higher.↩
all in mg/kg, all RDA↩
more solid↩
like, for instance, this whole blog post and my general desire to eat better↩
as so much of what I do is these days↩
will be looking things up really quickly to make sure that I don’t miss anything super important.↩
Yes, I’m well aware that the average American gets far more than enough protein in their diet, but I’m not average↩
says that trans fats are banned, interestingly. Looking at the abstract of this meta analysis, seems like that’s not necessarily true.↩
for the macros, in particular↩
N.B. I am rounding everything, because I don’t like unnecessary precision, and don’t really believe that my body is a bomb calorimeter (unfortunately).↩
which I kind of am↩
which, wildly enough, is on the low end. The USDA recommends 10-25 percent from protein↩
USDA wants 20 to 35 percent↩
First Published:
N.B. In the interest of having single day drafts, this is the first draft up until reflection of July 2023.
I generally title posts like this a reflection, for a few reasons. Mostly, I want to use it as a way of seeing what goals I’ve had, kept, lost, and picked up. However, this musing is meant to serve a different role.
Up to this point, I’ve mostly been treating what’s changed in my life as though it’s no more a change than any other sudden shift, like studying abroad or graduating. I don’t know if even now I’ve come to terms with all of the ways that my life is forever fundamentally altered for having lost my mother. Goals that relied, in any way, shape, or form, on her direct motivation1 need new reasons. So, even as I look back at my past to see what my goals once were, my focus today is almost entirely on the future. I am willing to discard any goal I once had that no longer serves me.2
Time to go through every reflection I’ve had.3
Back in January of 2019, I had the goal of writing a sonnet every day. I do think that forcing myself to do something creative, in both senses of the word, and analog before bed time is ultimately good for me. Much as I think this, however, I don’t love sonnet form. I’m tempted to try common verse, because I do really enjoy alternating tetrameter and triameter. However, unlike a sonnet, common verse does not have a set number of stanzas or lines. Worth considering, at least.
Three years later4, I wanted to blog daily5. I was working through the Bible in a Year that year, and had the goal of keeping up on it. I also wanted to work on working out and writing music.
Apparently that February was the only February I reflected on. Interesting that I lose focus in the springtime. More or less, the same as January, though with working on my book6 added in.
March has also only been reflected on once, and I misdid the naming of the url. As before, with practicing guitar added in.
In April, I wanted to finish a draft of a paper I needed to write.
June7 brought the idea of listing the exciting things that had happened to me in the past month. That’s probably something that’s worth bringing back? It also added the goals of accordion practice and writing short stories.
In July I wanted to be able to run a little over five miles continuously, stretch, work on an exam, and revise my book.8
Poems, journaling,9 and curricular development were my August goals of note.
September had me hoping to work on my 24 for 24 list.10
I wanted to do NaNoWriMo and fill out 24 for 24 in October.
NOTE: At this point in the musing, I realized that I’ve been looking at the goals moving forward, so generally transpose all the goals forward one time unit.
I had the insane goal in November or December of that year of writing another 50K word book.
On the start of 2023, I wanted to add daily rosaries to my list, along with working through the Catechism in a Year.
February brought no new goals.
In May of that year, I split my goals into professional, personal, and growth. In general, they were single things that I needed to accomplish, and I should not forget the value of static goals. I also wanted to get back into bagpiping, which is also a thing I miss. Wildly, I hadn’t written any public outreach talks at that point. I know that it’s something I really started in graduate school, but it’s so weird to me that I only really started to do it about 20 months ago.
June had me counting my monthly words, and split goals into finite11 and growth. I wanted to get up at 6am daily, get ahead on my book, and write letters to friends. I also wanted to invite friends over to my home, because I was happy with its state.12
That same month, I also reflected on the reflections themselves. In that post, I introduced my concept of actually tracking my goals.13
In July, I wanted to be able to have friends over, which necessitated a clean home. That’s really it for changes.
August brought the goal of finishing a talk and nothing else.
September had me reflecting forwards14 on what excited me about the coming month, which seems like a good goal. I also started work on my album, which I have yet to finish.
In October I gave small snippets of explanation for why each goal was set.15
November had me commenting that the month had passed me by for reasons I should have remembered. I don’t know if I recall them right now. It’s distinctly possible that October of 2023 was when I found out about my mother’s illness. I was apparently doing well enough at prayer then that I wanted to do better than a rushed rosary.
At the dawn of last year, I kept up my tradition of five things that I was excited for in the coming year. Let’s see how I did:
Publishing my first first author paper -> Did not do, likely because I lost most of the summer and fall
Giving an invited lecture at a university -> I did this, but also like that was kind of already set up.
I’m excited to grow in my relationships -> I would like to think that I’ve done so, though it certainly fell apart as the year progressed.
I’m once again also excited to watch my little brother graduate -> It was fantastic, though bittersweet for it just being my brothers and me there.
I’m excited to record an album -> I did not finish any of the songs, though I did share a decent recording of one of them with my mom.
I may as well also list five good things that happened to me last year that I did not list:
Getting a new underclassman on my project. The new student has been fantastic and really revitalized me
Learning to embroider
Figured out where I want to end up in a career
Got my family into a dumb marble racing show.
Ta’d introductory astronomy
I did also want to swim a mile, learn a polka, read through all my books. I did none of those, though I was generally ok at finishing the rest of my goals.
Nothing really new in July, though that came with my acknowledgment that I more or less had given up on blogging.
At the end of last year, I made a list of more or less every goal I had at the time. I then spent some time sorting them into different categories, like finite and infinite, goals for the near and far future, etc.
So, what have I learned from going through all my reflections?
In general, I always want to blog more, stretch more, and exercise more. Most of the time I want to pray more. I have also gone through different phases for how I reflect.
Going forwards, I think that I would like to continue monthly reflections, and I would like to do a few forward looking and backwards looking experiences. Looking through the goals from my last reflection, there are some changes and some similarities from there. So, what does this mean for me?
In 2025, I am excited to:
Have a timeline for finishing my Ph.D.16
Once again, continue to grow in my relationships.17
Write a song for another friend’s wedding.
initially: Mature in my faith. It’s been a rough past few months, but I think that it will ultimately end up as a net benefit to me. It’s been great to be able to help my friends experience the best day of their lives18 and enhance it with the meager19 talents for music I possess.
Feed myself better. I’ve gotten better and better about it, and these past few months in particular have been really good to me in this regard, if nothing else.
Find a way to live with my grief. So far it’s been alternating repression and collapse, though it’s definitely been more of a damped wave than an amplified or static one.
Goals for this year20:
Make significant progress on writing my thesis. Regardless of the timeline, it’s always better to have written than not to have written.
Come to terms with my grief. As mentioned above, I feel like it’s a necessary thing to do.
Find a sustainable way to feed myself. As mentioned above, I’m making progress on it, but it’s certainly not fully there.
Find a way to write my web novel sustainably. I miss writing it, and I really miss interacting with my friends and family about the new chapters, to say nothing of the joy I get seeing random internet strangers praise me.
Stop wasting time. That’s not to say stop taking breaks, but there are many things that I spend time on that I don’t value, and that don’t help me grow into the person I want to be. It’s a journey for sure, but I’d at least like to feel like more of my days are being spent in service of growth.
Get back into letter writing. This ties in really well with growing in my relationships, but also I feel like I have not been doing enough handwriting these days, and certainly not enough reflecting.
Get back into journalling. As with blogging, it’s a use of time that I’m always grateful for.
Learn to draw. I had that going for a little bit last year, but then the holidays came and destroyed my schedule.
Finish the album.
Get back into classical21 composition.
Find a way to bring fitness into a routine. I’ve generally been good about at least doing a bit of stretching in the morning, but I know that I could improve on that.
Blog daily. This goal is absolutely my white whale, but it’s still my goal
Grow interpersonally.
Become more comfortable with myself.
Art. I don’t know in what ways I want to be doing art, but I know that I want non-musical art to be a part of my life.22
Music. In general, I want to start building proficiency in my main instruments. Well, I do want to gain proficiency in every instrument, but that’s not plausible, if only because I don’t have every instrument. These days, that’s singing, guitar, and accordion.
Clean my life.
Learn to draw.
Do 26 for 26.23
Looking more short term, what are my goals for the rest of the month?
Music:
I don’t really think that this month is calling me to ensemble or classical composition.
Work on the album for at least an hour each Saturday, and find another half hour sometime in the week.
Practice guitar and accordion. I’d like to say twice daily, but at least once for both.
Art:
Continue working on the embroidery project. It brings me peace to do it.
Work on art at least 3x a week. I have the drawing space all set up, now it’s just a matter of doing it.
Exercise:
Continue/improve at stretching in the morning and evening.
Start going to the group fitness classes.
I’m going to put food in here, so do my blog post or at least a personal posting about my macro needs
Writing:
Write and send at least a letter a week. Probably do that on Saturdays.
Journal every morning, at least five minutes.
Write some poetry every night.
Start writing my web novel again.
Blog daily.
Grow in prayer
That’s a fair number of goals. How can we make this a daily and weekly check?
Daily:
Practiced guitar?
Practiced accordion?
Twice daily stretching?
Journal?
Poetry?
Blog?
Net cleaner home?
Weekly:
Embroidered?
Drew on Monday, Saturday, Sunday?
Group Fitness?
Letter?
Web Novel?
Ok, that doesn’t actually seem so bad. Saturdays seem like they’ll start to be filled with activities which lead me to growth, which is always really nice. In general I do tend to find that I spend too much time wasting away on Saturdays, since I tend not to have anything in particular scheduled to do.
I generally title posts like this a reflection, for a few reasons. Mostly, I want to use it as a way of seeing what goals I’ve had, kept, lost, and picked up. However, this musing is meant to serve a different role.
Up to this point, I’ve mostly been treating what’s changed in my life as though it’s no more a change than any other sudden shift, like studying abroad or graduating. I don’t know if even now I’ve come to terms with all of the ways that my life is forever fundamentally altered for having lost my mother. Goals that relied, in any way, shape, or form, on her direct motivation24 need new reasons. So, even as I look back at my past to see what my goals once were, my focus today is almost entirely on the future. I am willing to discard any goal I once had that no longer serves me.25
Time to go through every reflection I’ve had.26
Back in January of 2019, I had the goal of writing a sonnet every day. I do think that forcing myself to do something creative, in both senses of the word, and analog before bed time is ultimately good for me. Much as I think this, however, I don’t love sonnet form. I’m tempted to try common verse, because I do really enjoy alternating tetrameter and triameter. However, unlike a sonnet, common verse does not have a set number of stanzas or lines. Worth considering, at least.
Three years later27, I wanted to blog daily28. I was working through the Bible in a Year that year, and had the goal of keeping up on it. I also wanted to work on working out and writing music.
Apparently that February was the only February I reflected on. Interesting that I lose focus in the springtime. More or less, the same as January, though with working on my book29 added in.
March has also only been reflected on once, and I misdid the naming of the url. As before, with practicing guitar added in.
In April, I wanted to finish a draft of a paper I needed to write.
June30 brought the idea of listing the exciting things that had happened to me in the past month. That’s probably something that’s worth bringing back? It also added the goals of accordion practice and writing short stories.
In July I wanted to be able to run a little over five miles continuously, stretch, work on an exam, and revise my book.31
Poems, journaling,32 and curricular development were my August goals of note.
September had me hoping to work on my 24 for 24 list.33
I wanted to do NaNoWriMo and fill out 24 for 24 in October.
NOTE: At this point in the musing, I realized that I’ve been looking at the goals moving forward, so generally transpose all the goals forward one time unit.
I had the insane goal in November or December of that year of writing another 50K word book.
On the start of 2023, I wanted to add daily rosaries to my list, along with working through the Catechism in a Year.
February brought no new goals.
In May of that year, I split my goals into professional, personal, and growth. In general, they were single things that I needed to accomplish, and I should not forget the value of static goals. I also wanted to get back into bagpiping, which is also a thing I miss. Wildly, I hadn’t written any public outreach talks at that point. I know that it’s something I really started in graduate school, but it’s so weird to me that I only really started to do it about 20 months ago.
June had me counting my monthly words, and split goals into finite34 and growth. I wanted to get up at 6am daily, get ahead on my book, and write letters to friends. I also wanted to invite friends over to my home, because I was happy with its state.35
That same month, I also reflected on the reflections themselves. In that post, I introduced my concept of actually tracking my goals.36
In July, I wanted to be able to have friends over, which necessitated a clean home. That’s really it for changes.
August brought the goal of finishing a talk and nothing else.
or even indirect↩
this is an aspirational statement, not necessarily indicative of any real fact.↩
at least those which I was smart enough to title “reflection-”↩
and horrifyingly, almost three years ago↩
which was true in the prior reflection, and is likely going to be true in every future one, so I’m just going to stop mentioning it↩
now my web serial↩
nope I did not miss a month, no clue what you’re talking about↩
assume that goals are generally transferred between each month unless otherwise noted↩
ah, right, the spell checker I use doesn’t like journal to be a gerund↩
Which, realistically, is probably a good thing for me to bring back this year↩
static from above↩
what a wild concept, honestly↩
For those reading, yes, it took me more than five years from starting a blog to realize that I could (and realistically, should) track the goals I have↩
projecting??↩
Ok so that’s something that’s been extant before, but↩
initially: Finish my album. Realizing that I’ve been nominally working on this for 18 months really just goes to show me how much I need to finish it.↩
initially: Restart my web serial and find a way to make it a healthy and growth-inspiring habit, but I realize that it was a goal, not an experience↩
or so I hear that’s what the wedding is↩
meager just feels like such a British word that I cannot help but spell it meagre↩
taken liberally from my 2024B reflection↩
I don’t really know how to describe it, maybe ensemble?↩
why non-musical? see the other musical goals and also below.↩
I know that I’m starting very late, but there’s every chance that I’ve done novel things since my last birthday that I have noted somewhere. If not, well, that might be a sign that this summer will have to be filled with growth.↩
or even indirect↩
this is an aspirational statement, not necessarily indicative of any real fact.↩
at least those which I was smart enough to title “reflection-”↩
and horrifyingly, almost three years ago↩
which was true in the prior reflection, and is likely going to be true in every future one, so I’m just going to stop mentioning it↩
now my web serial↩
nope I did not miss a month, no clue what you’re talking about↩
assume that goals are generally transferred between each month unless otherwise noted↩
ah, right, the spell checker I use doesn’t like journal to be a gerund↩
Which, realistically, is probably a good thing for me to bring back this year↩
static from above↩
what a wild concept, honestly↩
For those reading, yes, it took me more than five years from starting a blog to realize that I could (and realistically, should) track the goals I have↩
First Published: 2025 January 6
I started to write this musing on Christmas morning. It was a Christmas unlike I’ve ever had before, though for almost no positive reasons. I woke up alone in my empty home, with neither tree nor any decorations.
Last Christmas1 I mused about the different Christmas traditions my family had.2 This Christmas, we abandoned most of the traditions, for a few different reasons.
We kept the pajama exchange, though it felt far less homey, given that I had to walk a few blocks in them in order to sit with my father and brothers. We kept the photo with Santa and the family selfie, though I no longer had to angle the camera far down. We kept the generally low energy vibes, though with a flavor of sorrow rather than joy underpinning it.
Having spent a year without the traditions, my family and I all agree that we do, in fact, like all the traditions we have and want to bring them back next year. Of course, there will be a gigantic hole in the midst of that3 celebration, but that is something that we’re going to have to work around. I don’t know what metaphor will end up being the most true here, whether the hole will grow smaller in time, be covered over by new threads of life experiences, or simply avoided, as a scar in the ground. Regardless, I am grateful for the past year, the coming year, and whatever time I have left on this world.
As much as I’m glad that last year’s musing about Christmas contained our traditions, because I have already forgotten them, reading them was very difficult. So much has changed from last year, and some of it was even my fault. We are not at home
First Published: 2024 December 15
It may have taken 6 years, but I’m finally reflecting on the same Sunday Gospel more than once. While reading today, the two things that most struck me were the fact that the first paragraph of the gospel was almost entirely secular advice, and the second half was almost entirely spiritual. I know that the distinction is not necessarily true, but an atheist should take no issue with anything in the first paragraph.
My other major takeaway was the wheat and the chaff. Since fire was used in reference both to baptism and the burning of the chaff, I read it as saying that we are the wheat whose chaff is being burned off. Chaff, as we all know, is not something independent of wheat. It is the outer covering, which we remove because we don’t want it. Likewise, the sin in us is the chaff that we need to not just separate from, but burn away entirely through the healing power of Christ.
I’m really fatigued today, so that’s all I have, other than a quick look to see what has changed in the past six years.
Ooh! I focused on the fact that it was Advent, and mentioned that we should focus more on the joy aspect of the faith. That’s still true, but it’s interesting how my takeaways have changed through the years.
Goals:
One offs:
Talk to boss about Ph.D. timeline
Pick a topic for a science communication article
Make a list of the stretches I’ll do each day
Find a place to volunteer
Paper hit list
Compile a list of people I want to write letters to
Muse about macros and micros
Compile a list of 20 meals that I can make, with their ingredients (inc. shelf stable or lifetime), time, effort level, and nutrition info
Figure out my motivation for each book and have it as the bookmark
List of things that need to be cleaned and the frequency
List of things in my life
Make a list of musings to do
Weekly:
Spend 30 minutes 2x a week working on writing the song. Started working on the choral piece today. Realized I got two prayers1 mixed up in my head, so now deciding whether to keep the mishmash of the two prayers or pick a single one to stick to.
Ten minutes 4x a week on drawing. Did it last week, ready to go this week.
Daily:
Define how I’m feeling each day at start and end. eh, doing ok
Practice guitar daily (at least one scale and a chord progression). Yup
Muse daily. almost a week!
Stretch Twice a day. yes!
Ave Maria and Salve Regina↩
First Published: 2024 December 14
Visual art and music have always felt completely separate to me, in a way that I don’t really think is true of most people. Given the fact that both are what people will point to as “the arts”, or “fine arts”, there’s at least some level of correlation. I can understand part of it. After all, both are endeavors which fundamentally require conveying something within ourselves to the world outside, in a way that isn’t as true for other activities. Both are seen as fundamental to humanity.
As I think about why I consider the two forms so different, I think that the artifacts of practice are incredibly important. When practicing music, there is no direct evidence once you have finished. The notes fade, sound waves dampened by everything around you. When finishing a practice of visual media, by contrast, the page is full of every mistake you’ve made.
The fear at the idea seeing my own mistakes, and the pain of actually witnessing the work I was proud of a day ago has certainly been a discouragement from my continuing the practice. I also don’t know that I’ve ever really figured out a good way to practice the skill. With writing, for instance, I know that everything I write will, on some level, improve all of my writing. I also have relatively clear demarcations for what practice will most impact what part of my craft.1 The same is true of music.
In drawing, by contrast,2 I know that line and shape and form are important, but I still don’t see how studying one thing inherently leads to improved ability to draw something else. On the same thread, I also do not have anything that has ever been a huge motivation as a relatively large project. Even to this day, a motivation for at least some of my music practice is upcoming public performances, which weigh heavily on me. I write as a part of my job. Drawing is not something I’ve done.
And yet, this musing is not about my historical struggles with drawing, it’s about my current goals to learn how to draw. I’ve been working on the skill since about the day that my mother died. I think that it was the next day that I got a sketchbook and started to draw. Primarily I’ve been focusing on figure drawing.
I don’t really know why that is. Certainly I like figures in art, and at least some of the art that I want to create has the human body as a part of it, but I think that a larger reason might just be that the media about learning to draw I’ve consumed lately has been focused on people’s own goals to learn to draw form.
As I continue to draw the human form, though, I am more and more finding the ways that small gestures really do mean the difference between something completely discordant and something pleasant to look at. Simply thickening a line where there is shadow in a reference image adds a surprising amount of depth to the drawing. All this to say, I feel like I’m making progress, even though I don’t really want to go back and see if it’s true. I’m hoping to dedicate some time as I continue to move forward in my life to actively studying how to do it better.
Interestingly, it seems that I’ve only ever mused about drawing a single time, almost three years ago now.3 As my goals right now hopefully indicate, I’ve decided that right now I want to learn to draw. I don’t think that this is a new goal, but it’s never been something that I have put for a sustained effort on.
I’m really not sure why I never really learned how to draw. For reference, when I say draw here, I’m using it in the sense of still life or figure, or generally of something vaguely resembling realism. I’ve done plenty of nonrepresentative art4, and I have run up against the borders of insanity more than a few times constructing a knot. Despite this, I still don’t really think that I can draw a guitar, even though there is one sitting in front of me at this exact moment and I can perfectly picture one in my mind.
When reading about learning to draw, a lot of the stories end up similar to those that I see in music spaces from those who enter later in life. Someone, either an authority figure or the general air of authority, convinced people that they were not musical at some fundamental level. Probably because I am a relatively competent musician5, I do not think that was ever the case for me. I also do not lack inspiration for things I would draw. My mind is filled with countless fantastical images that I wish I could convey to the world.
Especially since I have spent the past six6 or so years working on my penmanship, it seems more than a little strange that I haven’t really spent a lot of time with drawing. Of course, paging through my old notebooks does show a good number of pages with different amounts of pedagogically sound drawing practice. Unlike the music that runs through the books, however, there is no through line.
Goals:
One offs:
Talk to boss about Ph.D. timeline
Pick a topic for a science communication article
Make a list of the stretches I’ll do each day
Find a place to volunteer
Paper hit list
Compile a list of people I want to write letters to
Muse about macros and micros
Compile a list of 20 meals that I can make, with their ingredients (inc. shelf stable or lifetime), time, effort level, and nutrition info
Figure out my motivation for each book and have it as the bookmark
List of things that need to be cleaned and the frequency
List of things in my life
Make a list of musings to do
Weekly:
Spend 30 minutes 2x a week working on writing the song will work tomorrow
Ten minutes 4x a week on drawing Did extra today!
Daily:
Define how I’m feeling each day at start and end So far so good
Practice guitar daily (at least one scale and a chord progression) Working on it!
Muse daily Wow a threepeat
Stretch Twice a day Second stretch is becoming more and more abbreviated but still extant!
at least in theory. Whether or not those are borne out by reality is another matter entirely↩
i keep wanting to just say art, which I know is wrong, and also I’m only really interested in pencil or pen drawing or digital drawing, so might as well just use that↩
I hate that 2022 is three years ago in just a few short weeks↩
representative was the word I was looking for↩
it’s wild what things I do and don’t feel comfortable claiming. I have never felt good about saying that I’m good at music, except when interfacing with someone who I think is wrong about their opinion↩
Oh gosh this blog is old↩
First Published: 2024 December 13
Because I am actively trying to return my library books right now1, I’ve started to actually try to read them. A past version of me was incredibly optimistic, and thought that I would be able to read through tomes upon tomes of information about historical science and synthesiz it into my public facing talks. Of course, life happened, and I did not end up doing so.2 In attempting to read some books which are little more than collections of essays, I have come to realize that I’ve somewhat lost the ability to read essays, especially social science essays. Thinking about my brain as a muscle may have problems from a psychological standpoint3, but it’s been something useful for me in the past. Just like how swimming is harder after taking a break, so too is it harder not just to think, but to think in any particular thought pattern after taking an extended break from it. I recently noticed where my mental strength had waned on Sunday as I tried to write a hymn harmonization. For whatever reasons, I most often find myself writing polyphonic music, or at least homorhythmic music.45 Hymns, by contrast, are almost always homophonic.
That is, there is one single line that can be clearly pointed to as the melody, and the rest act to support it. At a more fundamental level, though, I do not work in the realm of tonal harmony that often.6 Sure, many of the folk songs that I write take the standard I IV V approach, but the music I listen to, cover, and especially write for choirs do not rely on that very limited harmony. Hymns, as a genre, however, operate completely within that sphere. Because I have minimal interest in writing tonal homophony, I was very comfortable with the fact that I have lost those skills.7 By contrast, I’ve realized that I cannot read essays, especially in the way that I used to, and that is something which concerns me, at least a little. I don’t know where the mental fortitude to slog through dense words that are written from an expert in a field to another expert in the same field has gone, but I do know at least a few reasons why I’ve lost it. First, scientific papers are rarely written as essay. These days, most of the time the abstract and conclusion are all that need to be read. If attempting to copy an experiment, than a brief skim of the experimental section is usually sufficient. I am also rarely attempting to do pure literature reviews, where I synthesize a number of papers into a single document without adding new information of my own.8 Now I guess I have to ask myself whether that’s a skill I want back, and if so, how much effort I’m willing to put into it.
Goals:
One offs:
Talk to boss about Ph.D. timeline
Pick a topic for a science communication article
Find an occasion I could write a song for. Done, I’m going to set the Ave Maria
Make a list of the stretches I’ll do each day
Find a place to volunteer
Paper hit list
Compile a list of people I want to write letters to
Muse about macros and micros
Compile a list of 20 meals that I can make, with their ingredients (inc. shelf stable or lifetime), time, effort level, and nutrition info
Figure out my motivation for each book and have it as the bookmark
List of things that need to be cleaned and the frequency
List of things in my life
Make a list of musings to do
Weekly:
Read a pop sci article a week, making notes about how they work -> Decided I no longer want to do this
Spend 30 minutes 2x a week working on writing the song -> will work sunday
Ten minutes 4x a week on drawing -> Instead of drawing yesterday, drew today
Daily:
Define how I’m feeling each day at start and end -> Still good
Practice guitar daily (at least one scale and a chord progression) -> Still on
Muse daily -> Woo! A streak
Stretch Twice a day -> I think that I may have forgotten yesterday, but I have today
I found myself struggling to think of a topic for today’s musing.9 Potentially relatedly, I’ve been trying to get through the long list of library books that I checked out from the library at my school. Among them are books that have come recommended to me and a number of books I’ve found by simply wandering the stacks. I often forget that History of Science is its own field, and that tends to be to my own detriment. Because of the fact that it is History of, the field’s output more closely resembles that of history than that of science. That does make sense, given that it is tools and techniques from history which enable the research. However, it does mean that I’m being confronted with a fact that I haven’t had reason to realize: I’ve lost my ability to read essays. Hmmm, this is a little too off the topic.
there are a variety of reasons for this, but most of them boil down to me realizing that I’ll never finish if I don’t start and my research being a lot of start a test, wait for hours, check results↩
Ok so to be fair, I don’t know if I can really entirely blame life, especially given what will follow↩
that is a statement that is just obviously true, but↩
I know that there’s a term for music that shares rhythm but is multiple melodies↩
Oh cool the term was homorhythmic↩
I use the definition of tonal meaning something approximating “a single diatonic scale at a time, usually through the entire piece, with emphasis on the I chord, the IV chord acting as sub dominant, V as dominant, and resolutions at I. Usually this means that the seventh resolves to the first and the fourth resolves to the third.”↩
For those then asking why I’m practicing it now, the answer boils down to the fact that the conductor I’m hoping to write music for generally likes homophony and relatively tonal music↩
that feels like it might have come off somewhat aggressively towards the social sciences. That wasn’t the goal, and I absolutely think that synthesis is value, even if it is not explicitly novel in the same way as measuring something for the first time.↩
No, I don’t have any good answer for how I pick between calling it a musing and a blog↩