I'm just copying my father


Questionable Bread

First Published: 2019 January 13

Draft 1

We’re getting ready to return to Grinnell. As a result, we decided to clear out our food. We had around two pounds of bread, a pound of brown sugar, salt,1 and a packet of yeast. So, I decided to make bread.

With the one packet of yeast added to most of the flour, I dumped in the very precise measurements of “#1” salt and brown sugar. That being accomplished,2 I added water to the flour. As I realized that there was still far too much flour, I found out we also had extra milk. So, I added more flour, and I3 added milk to the flour, and continued to work.

I then got bored while kneading, so picked up the dough and kneaded as I walked and visited other rooms. After letting it rise for 2.5 hours,4 I rekneaded, and let rest for the entirely unreasonable length of 3 minutes.5 I put it in the oven and walked away for ten minutes.

When I returned, the bread looked more like a cake. It had risen quite nicely. Of course, it wasn’t browning, even after 30 minutes, so I bumped the temp from 350 to 400.6 It still didn’t brown, but did turn a nice light brown colour.7

Reviews from housemates were positive. As for myself, I’d give it a solid neutral. As my father would say, “#1”8

  1. stolen from another room

  2. sometimes Latin class pops up in the worst ways

  3. I’ve been told I comma splice, so rather than change the problem, I just make sure to have more independent clauses

  4. I was so forgetful

  5. I’m impatient

  6. F because I love small changes and hate water-based systems

  7. wow that’s a bad sentence. Also, a break was taken before writing this sentence because I realized I’d forgotten the bread in the oven

  8. la vee